FOREIGN LADYBUGS, BLACK WASPS AND BLACK WATER TANKS
Yep…it has been a fun week in Wardville…
Now my owners say they wouldn’t trade these experiences at the cost of losing freedom on the open road…but it takes time to adjust to this new life. What used to be “normal stressors” of conventional life…has now been traded for freaky stressors of the outdoor life. My owners are still having fun and actually have really figured me out quite well now…no major problems like showers, toilets, electricity…I think some of their laughter might be MANIACAL laughter, but they do seem to be truly enjoying themselves…though every day is a new adventure and they keep wondering when the time will come when they can read those books they insisted on loading me down with! Owner Robin brought every grizzly bear book she has collected (about 14 in all) with her, determined that she will read each one on this journey…but so far she is about halfway through the Timothy Treadwell story, “Death in the Grizzly Maze.” Owner Jim, as is typical, is reading about three books at the same time…Kurt Cobain biography, Rolling Stones inside story and some other biography…I don’t know the guy…along with our latest edition of “Trailer Life” magazine, a gift from Orion, Ellen and baby Beatrice.
So let me tell you about my week…
Monday, owner Robin was stung in the hand by a black wasp. Robin was bummed and, yes…said more curse words…but figured it would pass in time. Within two days, her hand swelled up like a balloon and she thought she might have to have her ring cut off! Even today, her hand looks like the Pillsbury Dough Boy’s hand, but she has five fingers, of course.
That was Monday…Tuesday and Wednesday were the SCARIEST days in my life…I would rather be covered in honey and huckleberries, placed in the middle of Glacier National Park, Montana, than to live through what I have. I’ll sum it up in one or two words: ladybugs or lady bugs? I don’t know which is proper but it doesn’t matter because they are FREAKY LITTLE CREATURES! Oh…they’re so CUUUUTTTTTEEEE , people say. Oh, they’re “good luck” other uninformed people say. Bull. They are freaky little creatures.
Let me clarify…first, these bugs look JUST LIKE ladybugs but are paler in color. Up until Tuesday, we always called them ladybugs but, after they overtook our home and swarmed our village, research turned up that normal USA ladybugs don’t do this…these are Multi-colored lady asian beetles. Now, if you do an image search, you will see they are exactly like ladybugs. I think they are tiny aliens in ladybug suits…but who am I to say…I’m just a travel trailer.
Anyway…we noticed them flying around…not just in the woodsy area where I am parked…but in town, too. Just seemed to be a damn awful lot of them around…I thought, if they bring good luck, we’re in great shape…but then, back at our home base, they stopped being so “cute.” There were more and more and more and more of them…all over me! All through the air! My owners would step outside and come in with a dozen on their clothes in a matter of seconds…we were being invaded by aliens in ladybug suits! They COVERED me on the outside and my owner would have got a photo except she was so freaked out by the whole thing she was afraid to go outside.
My owners decided to just “get outta here” and left me all alone…for hours!!!! Now I don’t know if my owners expected to return to them being gone…but it was WORSE…poor me…I looked like a polka-dotted trailer…like some circus act reject. They ran inside of me for protection, covered in these creatures just from running from the truck to the door, only to open it and find about 100 INSIDE OF ME! My owners lost it…there was nowhere to run, nowhere to hide. They looked so funny because they were half laughing, half losing it. Owner Jim, the creative one, developed a paper cup system. Nothing like the satisfying “click” of hearing their little shells hit the inside of a styrofoam cup with one little flick from the ceiling. What took owner Jim sometime to figure out was that when he’d open the door to toss it out, more would come in…so they had to take action and fight the little aliens…so in came the dishpan and soapy water…which was grotesquely filled by the end of the four hour battle. By nightfall, they all just “disappeared” and a deafening silence came over our home. I was once again white…there were no more inside of me…so my owners did research on how to prepare for tomorrow’s battle.
They learned they don’t like temperatures under 55 degrees…tomorrow was to be sunny and 70! They had little time to prepare! They sprayed my shell in pesticide used for livestock/horses…supposedly safe and recommended, though I worried they’d discolor my outsides! The other trick was the almighty vacuum hose…now WHY didn’t they think of this in the first place? So the next day, when the battle resumed (and it is creepy…there are none in the morning…then a few…then a dozen…then 50….) they were prepared to fight…sucked those little critters right up! Of course, they still clung to me outside…
In between the two ladybug days, while owner Robin’s hand continued to grow to grotesque proportions, the black water tank informed us it was “full.” So we had known that they did not plan to drag me to a dump station and got ideas from the local RV guy on how you can move black water in a portable form. We are fortunate there is a septic tank on this land, next to the old house…just had to get it from me to it…while being eaten alive by little ladybugs.
This challenge was no match for owner Jim…he could FINALLY put that PhD to use! He designed a high tech plan that involved a large bucket, a snap on lid and a gigantic plastic, orange traffic cone, cut precisely to size to fit down the septic spout…I’ll just let you use your imagination from there.
Actually, my owners felt victorious when the black water tank was completely emptied without incident…
So friends…it has been quite a week.
I am looking forward to this weekend because owner Robin’s mom and George are coming to visit this weekend along with Orion and baby Beatrice. Jim is performing in his brother’s band Friday night…and everyone is going to the show….everyone except me and baby Bea…maybe they’ll let me babysit her while they go out?
Hope your life is as interesting as mine has been this week…and remember, when you see a cute ladybug, it is an alien in a ladybug suit…grab your vacuum!!